'Insidious'
December 25, 2009Read an Excerpt.....
Insidious
Emily and her husband Edward had been married for about five years. They had met shortly after Emily had broken up with a controlling and manipulative man. She was so thankful Ed had come along when he had. She literally thought she was going crazy. The man she thought she had loved was slowly driving her insane. She had lost the ability to know what was right and wrong. She was always questioning her motives and her judgments. The man had convinced her that her feelings were inconsequential and unimportant.
She used to think she had good sense. Her family had often told her that she had a good head on her shoulders. The man had told her that her family didn’t know what they were talking about and she ended up believing him. After she had time to stand back from the situation and see it more clearly and objectively, she realized that the man had a gift. He was like an evil magician. He gave the illusions of honesty and trust, but the reality was so far from the truth, it was hard to discern at the time.
Now, it was so obvious, it was almost laughable. How had she let it happen and how had she let it go on for so long? She dated him for a total of about nine months. She would break up with him and think it was over. He would call and impress her with his kindness and caring all over again. She fell for it several times.
Her journals saved her. If it hadn’t been for them, she might not have seen the pattern of abuse. It seemed as if he would get on her good side then slowly but surely, he would chip away at her self esteem by hinting that things were less than acceptable.
She made his favorite cake for his birthday and he thanked her profusely. Then, as he ate it there was an “odd after taste”. Of course it wasn’t her fault, he said. But nothing ever was good enough.
She began to notice the behavior after she reread her journal from the beginning. When she had finished, she recognized it and the light went off. He was either doing it on purpose or equally as bad, he didn’t realize he was pulling her down with every little criticism. It was so nice to have it written in black and white. It was there for anyone to see and evaluate. It was just so strange that she hadn’t been aware that it was going on until she saw the reoccurring events on the pages of her journal.
She had never told Edward about this other guy. She didn’t think she should discuss old boyfriends with him. She was, however so grateful and appreciative of Edward’s generous spirit. Ed always complimented her attempts at pleasing him, even if it was a disaster.
“You can try it again, Em,” Ed would say when they both laughed about a failed recipe that had sounded delicious but fell flat. “Your cake is much better anyway.”
She loved him all the more for it.
“You are so sweet, Ed,” Emily would say over and over. “Have I told you that?”
“About a million times,” Ed would reply, “But I like hearing it so don’t stop.”
With Ed, Emily felt beautiful and smart and creative and artistic
Posted by Sharon Schenbeck.
