Fool Me

 

            Diane Drake was instantly swept off her feet by the charming man she met at her cousin’s wedding. His name was Gavin Fuller. What better place to fall in love than at a wedding. It was an occasion of new beginnings and starting a life together. She was at the age where most of her friends were pairing up. She was in the mood and ready to find her ‘Mr. Right’.  Gavin had been a casual friend of the groom. They had met at the fitness club and had hung out for a few months prior to the wedding. The groom needed one more man to round out the wedding party and was relieved when Gavin said he would be happy to oblige.  Her cousin’s fiancé was friendly and open and was all the recommendation Diane needed to feel comfortable with this handsome man. 

            While they were dancing, Gavin said, “You just might be the girl of my dreams. Where have you been all of my life?”

            Diane was flattered and falling fast. No one had ever said anything like that to her, ever.  She blushed then answered shyly, “I don’t know.”

            Gavin held her close as they danced. He had worn a charcoal grey tuxedo that made him look like a model out of a magazine. He had black hair and light blue eyes. His eyes were what drew Diane to him like a butterfly to a flame. Diane had light brown hair that was silky and fine like a baby’s. She described her hair as mousy. Diane was a flower ready to blossom. At least that’s what her father had always said to her mother when she expressed her worry about her daughter’s shyness.

            “It’s just a matter of time,” Diane’s father would say, “The right man will bring out her natural beauty and enthusiasm.”

            When she was a little girl, Diane used to listen to her parents talking downstairs from the quiet of her bedroom. She loved her father for having so much faith in her. She wondered why her mother never seemed to support her and was always judging her.

            “Stand up straight, Diane,” Her mother would say. “Look at people when you talk to them, they will think you are being insincere if you don’t,” She would add.

            Diane didn’t know why she was so shy. She read books about how to boost your self esteem and went to seminars that taught assertiveness training, but nothing she did would make her shyness go away. When she did act outgoing and enthusiastic, it was just that…an act. It was emotionally exhausting and physically draining. She would come home and fall into a chair and want to weep for the sheer effort it took to keep up the façade. She always felt like an outsider looking in. She didn’t know why she was the way she was. Her mother was self confident and comfortable in social situations. Her father was positive, out-going and friendly. How had they conceived a daughter who was the polar opposite?

            Gavin said, “A penny for your thoughts?”

            Diane hadn’t known she had retreated inward enough for him to notice. He was so tuned in to her. How was that possible so fast? It was like he had known her all of her life. He really seemed to like her. She felt close to tears thinking that this handsome man, who was so kind and charming, was enamored of her in just a few short hours.

            Diane replied, “Oh, I was just thinking about how comfortable I feel with you.”

            Gavin said, “I feel like I’ve known you forever but we’ve never talked until now.”

            Diane just looked up at him and nodded with a smile on her face. It was hard to describe what she was feeling. She wondered if loving someone felt like this. She wanted to introduce Gavin to her mother. She just knew that her mother would be impressed by this nice, self-confident man. It made her happy to think that her mother would finally approve of something she was associated with. She looked around while she was dancing. Her mother had come to the wedding by herself. Her father had died five years earlier. Diane hoped she was not trying to find her father in every man she dated. But Gavin came as close to her father’s kindness that she had ever found. Her mother might have been alone but she was never without company. She spotted her mother sitting at a table having an animated conversation with the people she was sitting with. Her mother was beautiful and vivacious. Was it possible to be jealous of your own mother? She never knew if it was actually jealousy or envy or sadness that she felt whenever she saw her mother interacting with others. She wanted to be her mother and she wanted to marry her father. Was that a little sick, she wondered?

            Gavin directed her attention back to himself by saying, “I hope you’re not looking for a better dance partner.”

            She laughed at the absurdity of his statement. He was probably the most attractive male in the whole place. He was getting looks from all of the young women in the room.

            She said, “I was looking for my mother. She came by herself and I wanted to see if she was having a good time,” she lied.

            “That is so thoughtful of you, Diane,” Gavin said, “”You are the sweetest person.”

            Diane blushed again but she had her face close to his shoulder so she was pretty sure he had not seen it. She was smiling into the side of his face. He smelled so good. Did he actually smell like her father too? He smelled so familiar. It was eerie and wonderful at the same time. She felt brave and asked, “What scent are you wearing?”

            Gavin said, “It’s ‘Woodsman’. Do you like it?”

            Oh good grief, she thought to herself. It was the scent her father used to wear. It was earthy and masculine. She said, “My father used to wear it when he went out on special occasions.”

            Gavin said, “Is that a good thing? Would you like me to wear something else the next time?”

            “Oh my goodness,” Her knees went weak. Not only was he concerned that she might not like something he was wearing, but he was implying that they would see one another again. It was more than she could have hoped for.

            Diane said, “I love the scent. You smell delicious.” She couldn’t believe she had said that. She never talked like that. She stammered, “I…just mean that I really like it a lot.”

            Gavin held her closer and said, “I was hoping that’s what you meant,” as his lips moved against her hair.

            As Diane was peering over Gavin’s shoulder, she spotted her mother looking at her and wiggled her fingers at her in a tiny wave. Her mother raised her eyebrows. Diane never knew what her mother was thinking. Did she think that Gavin was too handsome to be interested in her or did she think that they were dancing too closely? Her heart started to beat faster, worried about what her mother might say or do. She was an adult and she was still concerned with what her mother thought, even though she knew she shouldn’t be.